Peace can only exist within me if I refuse to allow chaos to run rampant in my heart. In a place (prison) where chaos is as socially acceptable as a picnic and can be expected just as the sun rises, peace seemed to evade me hourly. I found absolutely no solace and began to believe what most people believe about inmates - I don’t deserve peace.
In 2014 I was accepted into the “Musicambia” program and began to learn to play the cello. That first time taking my assigned cello to my cell, I learned what peace truly was: calm, serene, beautiful.
Peace comes to me multiple times a day since learning how to play. It’s not music written on paper, but how the emotions that I am encountering at that particular moment lead me to play. If I’m happy, I play happy ~ mad, sad and disappointed - all the same result; however, my cello sounds great no matter the “mood” genre I may be in.
Peace is a place within me that allows me to be, well, me …. human. I find peace within my cello, a peace so coveted and enjoyed that nothing else matters. It is my pacifier, security blanket, pet dog (best friend) and therapist.